This month October 2005, I will turn fifty years old. Here are a few thoughts at fifty.

1955 - Born in Panama City, Florida

1975 – Twenty years old, working on the Alaska Pipeline in Valdez, Alaska

1985 – Thirty years old, working in refinery in Houston, Texas

1995 – Forty years old, working in a chemical plant in Merak, Indonesia

2005 – Fifty years old, working in chemical plants in Malaysia

I am a slow learner, even though I can memorize things very quickly. I have excellent

recall – you can give me a list of 30 items, I can memorize the entire list in order.

Then why do I think I am a slow learner? Because all of my life things dawn on me

which I think I should have figured out sooner. The good thing is that I do eventually

figure some things out – some people never figure anything out.

I put a quote on my web site that I wrote -"I do not need to understand the rules of life. I

do need to know what they are and how they affect me. They do not necessarily have to

make sense."

Things I have learned along the way

1. Horse Trading

2. What is success?

3. The world is full of three year olds.

When I was about 14, my Father bought me a horse. Sunday was a two-year-old red burl

appaloosa stallion. Stallions tend to be one-person horses, and I was his person. I could

call him up like a dog and I would ride him three to four time per week. I read several

books on horses and was learning as much as I could.

One Saturday a gentleman drove up to my father’s farm in his truck pulling a horse

trailer. My father and I went out to see his horse. The horse was an older Tennessee

Walker that was slightly run down, but in a good pasture would recover.

The gentlemen noticed my dog which was there on the farm. He asked whose dog it was.

I replied it was my dog. The gentleman said that he would trade me his horse for my dog

– I jumped at the offer. The gentleman handed me the horse halter, and loaded up the

dog in the back of his truck, and drove off. I was ecstatic – I had traded a normal, not

pedigreed dog for a horse.

My father was less than ecstatic. He said, Son the man brought his horse here to give it

to us, he no longer wanted the horse – you gave away your dog. All at once the deal did

not look quite so good. In any business deal you have to look at the value of the deal

from the other person’s view point. He was feeding this horse every week and wanted to

give the horse to someone who would take good care of the horse. In any business

dealing - do not give your dog away.

When my son was about 16 said he did not know anyone who was successful. At first I

was not happy with the statement, then I thought about some of the things I said at 16 and

decided that it was not so bad after all. This may be one negative of having good recall –

you remember all the dumb things you have said. In response to this statement I wrote an

essay on what is success, here is an updated version at fifty.

Success it the act of trying to improve upon things you are already doing. It is growing

and developing. It is accepting bigger and greater challenges. It is not being afraid of

making a mistake, suffering a setback, or failing. It is trying to do your best.

Successful people have several things in common.

1. They have a goal.

2. They develop a plan to meet their goal.

3. They obtain specific knowledge or training to implement their plan.

4. They are willing to work hard and stay focused on their plans.

5. They not willing to accept setbacks as final.

I know my vision of success has changed over the years. Below twenty, success would

have been measured in activities. Visit Disney World; attend the big event, and other

activities that I had no real input into. Twenty to Forty, success was measured in my

impact on activities. Being “only” fifty I am too young to rate the forty to sixty

measurement, but it also will be different.

One way to look at success is on four levels. First to yourself, then to your family, next

to your fellow citizens, and last to God. I am not sure the order is correct, but I am going

from small picture to large picture.

What is your obligation to yourself? What do you owe yourself to be successful? I

believe the first step toward personal success is knowledge building.

Knowledge Building

Proverbs says - fear is the beginning of knowledge. I have been in Asia for the last four

years and many of the Asian sayings are similar. The similar Asian saying is – all

suffering comes from ignorance. In my view the first step toward success for you is your

education. It does not have to be formal schooling, but you do need to make a concerted

effort to obtain knowledge to prevent suffering.

Honestly / Trustworthy / Dependable

Success has to involve honesty. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

St Luke. The Asian saying is, for the universe to take care of you, you have to take care

of the universe.

Honesty evolves your word being kept. What you promise, you must, within your power

deliver. Honesty also involves the employment. You are being paid to perform task, if

you perform the task below your abilities you are not being honest to yourself.

“A man’s treatment of money is the most decisive test of his character – how he makes it

and how he spends it.” James Moffatt

Not sure I agree with this, but I thought it was funny, at least it says be honest. “Always

acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give

your opportunity to commit more,” Mark Twain.

Start to Finish

Personal Success involves not where you are today, but from where you started.

Two women were talking.

The first says, “I made my husband a millionaire.”

The second answers, “ Oh that is great.”

The first replies, “Well not really, before I started he was a multi millionaire.”

Success is not dependent on where you are today, as much as the improvements that

“you” have made in your life. My grandfather died when my father was nine. He

dropped out of school at 13 to help support his mother, brothers and sisters. I was

supported and sent to college until I was 19. Because I started life with much more help

than my father did, the measure of what is success will be much different for me than

him.

Financially my father has done extremely well. He has been blessed with a good work

ethic and health. Because I started with more, I will be lucky to equal my father’s

success. Success is more than financial. It is personal development from which other

benefits will arise.

“I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has

reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.”

Booker T. Washington

Pleasant Tasks or Pleasant Results

Ask yourself which you like better, pleasant task or pleasant results? Most people will

eventually answer pleasant results. Therefore if results are more important than tasks, the

difficult task becomes important to achieve the pleasant results.

“The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right, and doing it

exactly right,” Edward C Simmons.

“Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowing,” Confucius.

Personal Happiness

Your life cannot be considered a success if you are not happy. Who is responsible for

your happiness – you are. You are the captain of your ship. If you are not happy it is

your fault.

“Success if getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get,” Dave Gardner.

“Happiness consists more in small conveniences or pleasures that occur every day, than

in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.

Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce

happiness.” Benjamin Franklin.

What is your obligation to your family?

Success involves your family. There are very few people in the world that wants to see

you be successful. Most people see the world as one large pie, and your success will take

that piece of pie away from me. I believe, and I am in a small minority, that if we work

smartly together we can make three pies, and have more than enough to share.

You should be careful when you discuss your problems, some people will be

sympathetic, but most people will be glad you are having trouble.

Your Parents

Your parents are some of the few people who want you to be successful. The Fifth

Commandment is to honor thy father and thy mother so your days may be long on the

earth. The reason you would life longer if you honor your father and mother is that they

have your best interest at heart.

“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down,” Arnold

Glasow.

Your Siblings

Many coined phases are there because there is some truth to the phase. “Sibling Rivalry”

is one such phase. Many young children and immature adults see the small pie picture.

The Bible speaks of one person defeating one thousand and two people defeating ten

thousand. Many brothers and sisters spend their time fighting over one small pie instead

of working to make three pies.

“Few men have the natural strength to honor a friend’s success without envy,”

Aeschylus.

Your Spouse

“Get yourself a spouse. Some thing you just can’t blame on the media or the

government, “ David Mahoney.

The most important decision you will make in your life is whom you will marry. Many

of the decisions in your life are not totally up to you. Doors are opened or not opened

according to your abilities or being in the right place at the right time. In Asia this is

called fate.

What are the values you should look for in a spouse?

1. Moral

2. Ability

3. Attractive by not gorgeous

4. IQ balance

5. Energy

6. Family

7. Father

Your Children

“For unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably

well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by

comparison.” Theodore Roosevelt

What is your obligation to your fellow citizens?

Today we stand upon the shoulders of others. Our present knowledge and standard of

living is because our fore fathers worked hard and sacrificed for the future generations.

Today we have an obligation not to let the sacrifices be in vain.

As a young child we would visit my mother’s father and mother. Dora was larger

German woman; Eaf was a small Scottish man who was a commercial fisherman. My

mother tried to describe to me what the place looked like when she was my age. She

described this large open bay where her and her younger brother Sam went sailing. Her

older brother Willard had helped her father start a seafood processing plant and the plant

was built on this large bay. Evidently Willard was a good businessman. WW Barnes

Seafood was a large seafood processing plant that employed over twenty people.

Part of the sacrifice of the older generation was that W.W. Barnes died in France in

WW2. I have often wondered how my mother’s and my life would be different if there

was a large seafood processing plant in the family. By the time I was ten it was a small

place in which the large bay had been back filled to construct a paper mill.

What is your obligation to God?

I have been all over the world, met thousands of people, and have met only one or two

people who professed not to believe in God. Humans have a built in belief that there is a

higher power. I believe the higher power placed it there.

"How can you say you love God, whom you have not seen, if you do not love your fellow

man that you have seen?" St John

Lucy from Peanuts Comic Strip - "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."

Your obligation to God is to treat others as you wish to be treated.

I have been fortunate to travel over most of the world and I have decided that the world is

filled with three year olds. They may look thirty, forty or even fifty – but they are really

three years old. People have two actual ages. The first is the chronological age – how

many years they have been breathing on earth. The second is their mental maturity. You

can tell how mature someone actually is by how they respond to situations. Some people

have a three year old response. Some people mature to adolescent, others to teen age

years, and very few reach thirty.

What are some attributes of three year olds?

Totally Self Centered

The first thing you notice about a three year old is that their world is totally self centered.

They only view things from me, myself and I. If we could look beyond our selves we

could build a much better world than we have today.

Selfish

If a three year old has three toys, they are not willing to share even one with another

child. They cannot see the larger picture that if you share, you can sometimes end up

with less material goods, but more happiness. Life consists not in the abundance of

things.

Lazy

Three years olds are more than willing to play with the toys, but they do not want to pick

them up afterwards. They do not understand the satisfaction from a job well done.

Tantrums

When a three year old is not getting their desires, they might began to make lots of noise

and sometimes throw themselves on the floor. I was asked once should a person be

promoted. I said let me think about it. I went and tested his responses to an unfair

situation and he made a lot of noise. My response was that he might not be mature

enough for the promotion. Not every time when you are treated unfairly, is it actually

true – sometime it is a test.

Toys

Three year olds like cheap flashy toys. They rarely will pick out a toy that has any

resalable value. On any given Saturday I can show you over 1000 three year olds that are

out at the local malls, buying cheap flashy toys that have no resalable value. One of the

hardest things to develop is financial maturity – most people never reach adolescent.

What is your mental age? At which level of maturity do you respond to situations? What

caliber of toys do you buy?

Unfortunally, when I look back over my life there has been times when I have given the

dog away. There have been times I have not based my decisions on what is the actual

definition of success, and far too many times I have acted like a three year old financial

and otherwise. Being a slow learner there is always hope I can be better in the future